Style Rules That Actually Work

My mother has never been fashionable (her words, not mine!!!). She doesn’t wear makeup. Her wardrobe is small, functional, pared down to its essentials. I could probably count the number of new items she’s bought in the past year on one hand. Meanwhile, my closet groans with impulsive finds and an army of face serums I swore would change everything. How did we end up so different?!

I blame my aunties—the ones who swept me into the glittering world of designer handbags and hairstylists who spoke of highlights like alchemy. They taught me the thrill of indulgence, the magic of stepping out in something unapologetically luxurious.

And yet, when I think about the style lessons that have truly stayed with me, the ones that have guided me in ways both small and profound, they didn’t come from the aunties. They came from my mom.

She has this remarkable ability to cut through the noise and land on what really matters, not just in style but in life.

“Always invest in your hair, skin, and teeth,” she told me once. “They’re what’s always with you. If they’re healthy, you always look good.” It’s the ultimate high-maintenance-to-be-low-maintenance philosophy. Your hair, skin, and teeth don’t need trends—they need care. A great haircut outlives the season’s hottest microtrend. Skin that is nourished and happy can outshine the most dazzling highlighter. And teeth? Teeth are permanence. They tell your story every time you smile.

She didn’t love my obsession with makeup, but I think she understood it?! For her, beauty wasn’t about adding—it was about nurturing. That’s why her advice lingers every time I reach for something fleeting or hesitate over a purchase that doesn’t feel true. Her voice, steady and practical, reminds me to ground myself in what endures. (Or sometimes still stridently berates me, like when she recently found out how much I had spent on contemporary gold-plated jewelry…)

Then there was the time I received my first designer bag, a gift from one of the aunties. It was buttery and pristine, a little too beautiful, and I babied it to the point of absurdity. I hardly used it, afraid to mar its perfection. My mom noticed me one day, carefully tucking it back into its dust bag after a single outing, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Beautiful things are meant to be used,” she said. “Good things should live with you, not sit on a shelf.”

And she was right, of course. Luxury isn’t fragility—it’s longevity. The softened leather, the beautiful patina, the scuffs from being held day after day, the way a beloved piece molds itself to your life—these are what make something truly beautiful. The bag was never meant to stay pristine; it was meant to carry stories.

Olsen twins doing God’s work and normalizing actually using your things

It’s funny how my mom, with the smallest wardrobe I’ve ever seen, might as well be a minimalist Olsen twin (in philosophy, not in personal style!). Her lessons, rooted in practicality, carry an air of quiet luxury.

These lessons have stayed with me because they’re about more than style. They’re about how to live—with care, with intention, with a sense of joy that isn’t fleeting but foundational. And they’ve shaped my own “rules,” not as commandments, but as a compass I return to:

1. Look after your hair, skin, and teeth first.

Good health is the foundation of beauty. Your wardrobe accessorizes them. A $20 dress can look like couture if your hair shines and your skin glows. But of course, even this is layered—the pursuit of “natural beauty” has become its own exhausting performance with ever increasing expectations and costs. So this isn’t about chasing perfection—it’s about health. Real beauty isn’t flawless; it’s vibrant, alive.

Not the best example give the sun damage but she is stunningly elegant!

2. Wear your beautiful things.

Let your favorite pieces become part of your life, not something you’re saving for a nebulous “special occasion.” Your life is the occasion. Let the silk dress catch the sunlight on a random Wednesday. Let the leather bag bear the scuffs of your everyday errands. Let your life mark the things you love. That’s what makes them yours.

The Olsens really do this best… wear your things!

3. Where possible, try things on in person—and only buy what triggers a full-throated yes.

The mirror tells the truth in ways a screen never can. “Maybe” or “it’ll do” isn’t enough. You deserve love at first sight—at least with your clothes. If you’re not in love with it in the dressing room, you won’t fall in love with it later. Shopping online has its conveniences, but there’s no substitute for the instant clarity of seeing something on your body and feeling that yes.

4. Buy the best quality you can afford.

Not everything needs to be expensive, but if you’re choosing between three versions of something, go for the one that feels the best in your hands, the one that will last. A great coat, sturdy boots, or a timeless bag can carry you for years. (Though

Irene Kim (김애린)

has a good point about intentionally buying a more affordable placeholder piece if you’re unsure!)

5. Invest in your foundations.

The right bra, the right underwear—they’re invisible to the world but transformative to you. Clothes drape better. You stand taller. The details no one sees are often the ones that matter most. If you’re searching for advice on finding the right bra,

Irene Kim (김애린)

has you covered!

6. Fashion isn’t an investment.

At the same time, the language of “investment pieces” can be misleading. Despite the marketing, most fashion items—aside from rare exceptions like Hermès or Chanel—aren’t assets that appreciate in value. They’re more like cars: capital expenditures that lose value over time.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy quality. If you’re choosing a pair of work shoes, invest in ones that are comfortable, durable, and suited to your life (my Ferragamos have lasted over a decade and are still going strong!).

But don’t buy more than you need. If a Honda gets you to work just as well as a Ferrari, why chase what doesn’t serve you? Of course, if you really are a gearhead, feel free to splurge! But do it intentionally, knowing you’re buying more car than you “need”. Quality isn’t about excess—it’s about purpose.

7. If it doesn’t fit or is uncomfortable, forget it.

The phrase “beauty is pain” is outdated. Clothes should support you, not punish you. Shoes that pinch, a dress that rides up, a strap that won’t stay in place—these aren’t just inconveniences. They steal your peace. If you don’t feel good in it, you won’t look good in it. Anything that requires constant adjustment—a strap that won’t stay up, a neckline that won’t lay flat—will just irritate you. Let it go.

Gorgeous and completely impractical

8. Confidence is the best accessory.

It’s a cliché because it’s true. Wear what makes you feel like you’re stepping into your own light.

9. Break the rules when they’re silly, but honor the ones that work.

Fashion has a million rules—don’t mix metals, don’t wear white after Labor Day—but most of them are arbitrary. The ones that remind you to live with intention? That connect you with joy? Keep those.

These rules aren’t just about clothes—they’re about how I want to move through the world: boldly, joyfully, with care. Every time I slip into my favorite leather shoes or reach for a bag that’s softened with use, I hear my mom’s voice in the back of my mind.

Take care of what lasts.
Wear what you love.
Live beautifully, and don’t save it for later.

What are the rules that guide you? What have you kept, and what have you let go? Because style, in the end, is never just about what we wear—it’s about how we choose to live.

A cliche at this point, but a cliche for a reason.